In his book Plays Well with Others, Eric Barker delves into the complexities of first impressions, highlighting our inherent biases, especially confirmation bias.
He introduces “the First Impressions Paradox,” which explains how our initial judgments about people are often accurate but resistant to change.
This paradox is rooted in our tendency to favor information that aligns with our existing beliefs, leading to a cycle where our first impressions seldom change, even in the face of new evidence.
Challenges of Overcoming Confirmation Bias
Barker highlights a pivotal challenge: overcoming confirmation bias. This thinking error leads us to disregard information that contradicts our initial impressions, influencing our explicit judgments and subconscious feelings toward others.
To avoid such pitfalls, we must acknowledge and address these biases, as doing so is essential for enhancing our interpersonal relationships and the accuracy of our perceptions. Fortunately, we can combat confirmation bias in three simple steps:
Three Steps to Resist Confirmation Bias
1. Be Accountable
Barker suggests taking a more accountable approach when forming opinions about others. We become more careful and thorough by setting a high standard for our judgments, similar to the seriousness of a life-or-death decision. This method, inspired by psychologist Arie Kruglanski, involves reviewing evidence before solidifying our opinions.
2. Distance Before Decision
Drawing from Russian-American writer Maria Konnikova’s research, Barker advises taking a step back to gain a more objective perspective. This distance allows for better judgment and reduces emotional reactivity, helping to counteract the immediate conclusions drawn from first impressions.
3. Consider the Opposite
Barker recommends actively considering opposing evidence to combat our tendency to focus on information that confirms our beliefs. This approach involves challenging our initial impressions and seeking information that contradicts them, a strategy exemplified by Nobel laureate Paul Nurse.
To quote Charlie Munger, a man known for his rationality and objectivity, “I never allow myself to hold an opinion on anything that I don’t know the other side’s argument better than they do.”
Barker concludes with two practical pieces of advice: First, make a good first impression, as it significantly influences how others perceive you. It’s that important. Second, give people a second chance, considering that our first impressions are often inaccurate. You will be wrong with at least three out of every ten people you meet.
Conclusion
Eric Barker’s insights in Plays Well with Others underscore the significance of being mindful of our cognitive biases when forming first impressions.
By adopting a more accountable, distanced, and oppositional approach, we can enhance the accuracy of our judgments and foster better interpersonal relationships.